Breaking Free from Repeating Patterns

Have you ever noticed how the same difficulties seem to show up again and again in your life? Perhaps it’s finding yourself in similar relationship struggles, feeling stuck in work situations, or battling the same cycles of self-criticism. Even when one problem seems to be “solved,” another often appears in its place — with a frustratingly familiar feel.

Feeling like a hamster, stuck on a wheel

This can leave you wondering: “Why does this keep happening to me?”

The answer is that many challenges aren’t isolated issues at all. They’re part of wider patterns of behaviour we’ve learned over time. These patterns are often shaped by early experiences or by coping strategies that once helped us manage but no longer serve us well. Over the years, they can quietly repeat themselves, influencing how we think, how we relate to others, and even how we view ourselves.

Why Solving Problems Isn’t Always Enough

When we only focus on “fixing” a single problem, we may get temporary relief, but the deeper patterns remain unchanged. It’s a bit like putting out one fire, only to see another flare up elsewhere. You might feel better in the short term, but the same difficulties tend to reappear — sometimes in new forms, but with the same old roots.

That’s why real, lasting change often requires us to look beyond individual problems and instead focus on the repeating patterns behind them.

How Cognitive Analytic Therapy Helps

This is where Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) takes a different approach. Instead of treating problems in isolation, CAT helps you step back and see the bigger picture. Together, we explore the cycles of thinking, feeling, and relating that keep you stuck.

Through the process, we “map” these repeating patterns in a way that makes them easier to recognise and understand. With this new awareness, you can begin to make different choices, breaking out of unhelpful cycles, building healthier relationships, and treating yourself with greater compassion.

CAT is also time-limited, usually lasting between 16 and 24 sessions. This makes it focused and structured, while still giving you the space to explore deeply. Many people find this balance of reflection and practical change both accessible and empowering.

Why Patterns Matter

When you start to see the whole map of your patterns, something important shifts. You begin to understand not just what is happening, but why it keeps happening. This clarity brings freedom: instead of repeatedly reacting in the same ways, you have the choice to respond differently.

This isn’t just about solving today’s problems; it's about reshaping the way you relate to yourself and to others for the future. That’s what creates lasting change.

The Role of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion plays a crucial role in this journey. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism when faced with repeating patterns. You might think, “Why can’t I just get it right?” But remember, everyone has their struggles. Embracing self-compassion allows you to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, paving the way for genuine growth.

Therapy Online or in Abingdon

I’m Hayden Stothard, an experienced Cognitive Analytic Therapist based in Abingdon, Oxfordshire. Over the years, I’ve helped many people make sense of the repeating patterns in their lives and find new ways forward.

Therapy with me is a collaborative process. We work together as equals, making sense of your experiences and building practical strategies for change. My aim is to provide a safe, supportive space where you can better understand yourself and create meaningful, lasting shifts.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in familiar cycles, whether in relationships, work, or within yourself; you don’t have to keep facing them alone. Therapy can help you see the bigger picture and find new, healthier ways of living.

Take the First Step

Breaking free from repeating patterns starts with recognising them. The next step is exploring them in a safe, supportive space where real change is possible.

If you’d like to learn more about working with me, you can visit my website here to book in a free 15-minute consultation: [www.cato.training/therapy].

Embracing Change

Change can be daunting. It often feels easier to stay within the familiar confines of our patterns. However, embracing change is essential for growth. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and daring to explore new possibilities.

Imagine your life without those repeating cycles. What would it look like? How would it feel? By engaging in CAT, you’re taking a brave step towards that vision. You’re not just addressing the symptoms; you’re getting to the heart of the matter.

Building a Supportive Network

As you embark on this journey, consider the importance of a supportive network. Surround yourself with people who understand your goals and can encourage you along the way. This could be friends, family, or even colleagues who share similar experiences.

Having a support system can make a world of difference. They can provide a listening ear, share insights, and celebrate your progress. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

The Power of Reflection

Reflection is a powerful tool in understanding your patterns. Take time to journal your thoughts and feelings. What triggers certain reactions? How do you respond? By reflecting on these questions, you can gain deeper insights into your behaviour.

Reflection allows you to connect the dots. It helps you see the patterns more clearly and understand the underlying emotions driving them. This awareness is the first step towards change.

Conclusion: Your Journey Awaits

Your journey towards breaking free from repeating patterns is just beginning. With the right support and tools, you can create lasting change in your life. Remember, it’s okay to seek help. Therapy is a safe space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

So, take that first step. Embrace the journey ahead. You have the power to reshape your life and create a future filled with possibilities.